Chapter Two: Thermae Cafe, the Famous Place to Meet People

What exactly does the name 'She Mei' mean? Let's start with a question many people ask when they first hear it: why call it that? Its English name is Thermae Cafe, and its full name is usually written as Thermae Bar and Coffee House. 'She Mei' isn't a Chinese name given to it by Thai people. It's a nickname that gradually caught on in Chinese-speaking nightlife circles, based on the pronunciation of Thermae. It's now hard to find a reliable source identifying who first used it. There are various stories online, but what's clear is that, after years of use, the nickname became easier for Chinese visitors to remember than Thermae Cafe itself. Thermae was never simply an ordinary coffee shop. In its early days, it was connected with massage and barber establishments and an underground coffee house, near what is now Sukhumvit Soi 15. Back then, many Bangkok bars had to close at a set time, but plenty of people were still out late with nowhere to go next. Thermae gradually became a very unusual late-night meeting place. During the Vietnam War, many American servicemen stationed in Thailand, along with those on leave in Bangkok from the front in Vietnam, spent their downtime around Sukhumvit. Thermae consequently became one of the places frequented by foreign visitors. The original Thermae wasn't in today's basement: the old venue was around Sukhumvit Soi 13, not far from its present location. When that site closed and was demolished, Thermae didn't disappear. It moved to the basement of the nearby Ruamchitt Plaza Hotel, which is the Thermae Cafe people visit today.

First, Thermae Cafe used to be Bangkok's biggest gathering place for women doing this part-time. That was in the past, though. As far back as around '19, there were already very few part-timers; most were working full-time. If you lived in Bangkok and dropped in every day, you might go half a month without seeing a new face. The number of women usually peaks around half past 9 each evening, with Friday and Saturday the busiest nights of the week. There are generally about 100 women there, so those are the nights I'd recommend: you're unlikely to leave empty-handed. It's also not far from Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza, so if nothing works out, you can head to Nana. Unlike a go-go bar, Thermae Cafe has no loud music and no particular rules such as a bar fine. You just buy a drink or beer at the counter when you enter. Even a bottle of water costs 80 baht. Then walk clockwise around the bar. The interior is essentially a rectangular restaurant, with women standing along both sides of the passage so you can take your time looking around.

I've drawn a rough layout here to show what it's like. You can sit in the open area in the middle while looking around. The women mostly stand beside the seats; some order food in the cafe and occupy the seats farther inside. The women near the beginning of the clockwise circuit tend to be younger, while those toward the end may be older. When I visit, I usually make a quick circuit to see who's there that evening. But if it's a busy Friday or Saturday with more men competing for fewer women, I don't do that: if I see someone I like, I go over, chat, add her on LINE or WeChat, and keep walking without deciding yet. It depends on how crowded the line of visitors is. If there's an obvious bottleneck, start exchanging contacts on your first circuit. If not, take a look around, pick a few women you like, and approach them on the second circuit. Try to decide within a few circuits rather than lingering. Some readers ask whether they might simply have arrived too early and could wait to see who comes later. That depends on your circumstances. If you're over 40, not in great physical shape, aren't looking for a longer arrangement, or have a budget below 5000 baht and mainly want the experience, you can wait. But that isn't the most enjoyable way to experience Thermae. Why? A woman confident enough to start after 11 isn't short of customers. Women who return to work at the cafe repeatedly that night are also generally offering short-time arrangements only, at around 3000 baht. That's the quick, frequent, fast-turnover approach, but I don't find it much fun. What I recommend instead is the long-time approach described next.