Chapter One: Basic Terms in Thai Nightlife

Key terms: 1. ST (Short Time): On paper, this means 'two hours' of company, but in practice it's a single encounter, and leaving as soon as it's finished is perfectly normal. Don't expect her to chat until the very last second; often, once the job is done, she leaves. If you're going back to your hotel, check whether there's an extra travel charge. Women from some well-known venues use that as a reason to charge more, and being chased for money afterward can leave a bad taste. 2. LT (Long Time): This supposedly means 'overnight,' but few women now stay the entire night. Many visitors report that 'long time isn't long,' and it increasingly resembles short time. Often, the two sides simply define it differently. Don't rely on a woman's 'up to you'; that's just politeness. Before leaving together, agree on exact times—for example, from 1 in the morning until 8—otherwise, by 3 you may find yourself alone in an empty room. Take Rainbow Four in Nana Plaza: LT is now generally 5 hours with two rounds by default, ending when either limit is reached. Value for money keeps declining. 3. Bar fine: This payment goes to the venue. Put simply, it compensates for the drink sales the bar loses when an attractive woman leaves instead of keeping customers company. The markup varies hugely by area. Some famous venues charge a bar fine high enough to pay for a full ST encounter elsewhere. When settling up, women or mamasans often call it 'pay bar'; it's the same thing. 4. Lady drink: When you invite a woman down to join you in a bar, you need to buy her a drink. Each usually costs 180-420 baht, and she receives a commission. Be clear about what drink you're ordering and that it's only one; otherwise, a few tequilas may arrive and thousands of baht disappear. These tactics are especially common around Cowboy. Some venues quote 220 baht per drink but require a minimum of two. At places such as Rainbow Four, two tequilas may arrive with a 440-baht charge.

5. Ladyboy / shemale / transgender: I use 'ladyboy' and 'shemale' for people who still have a penis, and 'transgender' for those who have had it removed. They generally refuse to admit they're transgender, sometimes even obtaining a fake ID to be more convincing, because they identify as women who were unfortunately born male. Plenty of visitors are taken in. After a few trips to Thailand, they'll argue with those of us who live here year-round, insisting the person beside them must be a woman. I used to warn people with good intentions, but some Chinese visitors would turn around and insult me, even demanding I go to Wonderland and confront the transgender women there. The thought still makes me laugh. Now I just leave them to it: if you aren't paying for advice, why the hell should I bother? A few days ago on Phi Phi, I saw a Chinese man traveling with two transgender women, clearly proud of having what he thought were two stunning women beside him. In private, they told us they'd nicknamed him 'Little Chubby.' 6. BJ / HJ: BJ means blowjob, or oral sex. HJ means handjob, or manual stimulation. 7. 'Jiche': A derogatory term from Taiwan, used here for a Thai woman with a bad service attitude who becomes uncooperative after returning to the hotel. Baccarat and Rainbow4&5 in Bangkok are notorious for it. Of course, it happens elsewhere too, including occasionally at high-end clubs: she says she's had too much to drink and leaves early in the night. There's little you can do beyond trying to avoid that situation beforehand. Pin-Up in Pattaya can also be disappointing. Sometimes, even a woman you've chosen repeatedly behaves well at first, then, once she feels familiar with you and secure, starts making all sorts of demands. That's why boundaries matter. 8. Joiner fee: A charge your hotel may impose when you bring a woman back. Usually, 5-star hotels don't charge it. Fees range from a few dozen baht to 1 thousand baht. If you aren't sure whether your hotel charges, you can book a private rental instead; those don't charge joiner fees. 9. Social apps: On Chinese social apps, most people offering these arrangements are ladyboys or transgender women, sometimes posing as Japanese or Korean women and even sending a passport photo. Think it through: why would a Japanese or Korean woman travel to Thailand to sell sex? How should you use these apps? Generally, I don't recommend finding someone that way. First, you need to be comfortable with ladyboys or transgender women. Second, verify whether the photos are genuine. A video call is the easiest method, and most ladyboys using their own photos will agree. Third, after the call, ask for Facebook or Instagram to understand their everyday life. If they won't share it, try searching their WeChat name or ID on Facebook; with the way Thai users tend to think, you can often find them. Finally, if you're feeling brave, negotiate at the going rate. There are women on WeChat's nearby-people feature too, but telling the difference takes experience. You could also try a little test: if someone says she's a girl, reply, 'I only like ladyboys,' and see how she reacts. Still, my advice is: don't use Chinese social apps! Don't use Chinese social apps! Don't use Chinese social apps! Whether other apps work for meeting women is something I'll cover separately later. 10. A 'respectable woman'? Every so often, someone boasts about paying to sleep with a supposedly respectable woman—a university student or office worker—and staying at her place. Next time, he says, he won't book a hotel; he'll sleep at her home. That story certainly appeals to people, but don't keep using 'respectable woman' as something to brag about. If you can pay to sleep with her at home, someone else can pay to do exactly the same. If money buys sex, calling her 'respectable' in that sense is meaningless. Some even tell me they arranged free sex yesterday. Sorry, that doesn't impress me; brag somewhere else. Ordinary Thai women aren't much different from women back home. If there's a difference, they may be a little warmer, but otherwise they have the same range of personalities. Thai women are individuals too. If you don't speak Thai and claim you slept with someone purely because of your looks, congratulations: you could do the same back home. You just haven't met a large enough pool of people. All right, I've thought hard and written down everything I could think of. One more thing: several people asking about my paid group recently wanted to know why I started it. My answer is simple: to filter people and make money. Through my own writing, I help readers understand Thai nightlife while earning more myself. The paid group also offers venue discounts. The membership fee is a filter: if you trust me, I'll help you save what can be saved. If not, explore on your own. After a few years, you'll understand what it means to spend money and still get burned. Some ask what gives us the right to charge. It's simple: we spent real money learning from our own mistakes. If we kept doing it all for free, we'd have starved under a Thai overpass long before we could learn anything.